you're a true astroNUT when..."
the first thing you notice about any new place is how dark it is.
you know the word for astronomy in more than one language. (Very useful
for the travelling astroNUT, aside from the words: "food "water
you wouldn't spend a dime on most things, but you'll splurge when it
comes to astronomical equipment.
the cost of your equipment is more than the vehicle you use to transport
you frown at those who say, "Ah.. so can you predict my
future?" and proceed to lecture them on the difference between
astronomy and astrology.
you remembered the dates when you bought your eyepieces, but forgot your
mother's/ wife's/ girlfriend's birthday.
you don't need more exercise since carrying all your equipment burns
more calories than a 2-hour gym workout.
you hate, deplore, despise and curse at M0 (a.k.a.
clouds) at any astronomy event...
you have actually developed a personal ritual to chase bad weather away,
and are mastering more from other cultures.
you attempt to outdistance bad weather by driving further up North /
South / East / West.
you care more about a speck of dust on your optics than the thick layer on
your living room floor.
you attempted to locate the main power switch for your district...
you ever aimed a stone (or something to the same effect) at a
from the Starrynights.. By Tom Campbell http://www.iolaks.com/softech/astro/astro.htm
you think that not getting enough sleep at night is a good thing.
you ask your optometrist about the availability of H-Alpha Sunglasses.
... you center your vacation time around the New Moon.
... you don't buy a house until you've had a chance to see how dark the
neighborhood gets at night.
... you build your dream home with a roll-off roof (or optionally, a
rotating dome roof).
... all the night lights in your house are red.
... somebody asks you where you live and you tell him the latitude and
longitude of your house.
... somebody asks where your town is and you pull out a map and show him
how to "star hop" from town to town to find it.
... you've named your kids and pets after stars or constellations.
... you can hand-draw your own star charts down to the 7th magnitude --
... when you take a new vehicle for a test drive, the first thing you do
is run by home to see whether your telescope will fit in the trunk.
from other members of Starrynights.. :)
you pick up a mailing tube and wonder what the focal length would be.
you pour cream into your swirling coffee and see a spiral galaxy. -littlestarhawk
the Milky Way ruins your night vision. -littlestarhawk
you're a Deep Sky person when..."
Refer to http://www.open.hr/space/space/jokes.phtml
for a complete listing.
"... you consider the moon a major annoyance.
... you consider Jupiter 'light pollution'.
... you spend most of your time looking at or for objects you can
... your favorite objects are objects you can barely see.
... you enjoy looking at faint fuzzies with the smallest possible
... you enjoy looking at faint fuzzies with the largest possible
... you like to choose objects that are easier to imagine than to
... you're amazed that anyone needs artificial light to read charts.
... you could do a Messier Marathon from memory, if you still
bothered with Messier objects.
... you welcome (and have even considered instigating) power cuts,
but only if they occur on clear moonless nights."
(Additions : )
you overdose on Vitamin A and carrots before an observation session.
you choose the NGC catalogue over Victoria's Secrets.
on the moon. Great food, no atmosphere."
"Astronomers do it all night."
"Astronomers do it Charging, Coupling and Devising (CCDs)."
. Humour for astrophysics. Samplers:
invoke the uncertainty principle whenever confronted with confused
mathematicians, chemists, engineers, psychologists, dramatists, and
andere schweinhund." - The Physicist's
Bill of Rights
: This product attracts every other piece of
matter in the universe, including the products of other manufacturers,
with a force proportional to the product of the masses and inversely
proportional to the distance between them."
: Despite any other listing of product contents
found hereon, the consumer is advised that, in actuality, this product
consists of 99.9999999999% empty space."
notice to purchasers : The entire physical
universe, including this product, may one day collapse back into an
infinitesimally small space. Should another universe subsequently
re-emerge, the existence of this product in that universe cannot be
A Physicist's Considers Consumer Warning Labels
April 1982 - What they say & what they *really* mean"
from Eric Jamison's http://users.metro2000.net/~ericj/astro-humor.html
. I had a good time laughing. Samplers:
say "The color contrast is
striking." ; They mean "One star
is white, the other is white."
"The telescope's optics are
superb." ; They mean "They
magnify atmospheric disturbances perfectly."
"The site offers clear skies
year round." ; They mean "It is
200 miles from civilization."
"A person with average eyesight
can split this pair." ; They mean "Over
half the world is blind."